I’m stuck. Paralyzed. Completely at a loss.
Really, I’ve been mulling it over for over a week. I’ve been actively trying to decide with in-depth analysis for just shy of a week. And I absolutely do not know what to do. So, of course, not knowing what to do, I am staying put and not doing anything. Though inaction is of course an action. But it’s not that I’m never going to do anything, just . . . not yet. Not until I can get myself, um, unparalyzed. Or whatever.
So what is this terrible, horrible, paralyzing event?
We got our tax return.
We got our tax return, and most of it has to go to general living expenses because things are rather tight. (Who aren’t they tight for?) But my dear, sweet, amazing husband (and I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever, so if you read any in there, go back and read it again!) said that I could have $100 to do with as I will. Well, that’s not entirely true. I mean, it’s not just spending money for whatever I want. I’m supposed to spend it on specific things that I really need, or that would just make my life easier.
The trouble is, even with those defining parameters, I still have more than $100 worth of things to get. A lot more. And we absolutely can’t afford more than $100 worth right now.
Some of them could be purchased through my company, with which I have a slight credit right now and with which I get a discount. All elements taken into account, I could spend closer to $180 if I only got things from my company. But there are other things that I also need that I can’t purchase through my company.
So I could get one thing purchasable through my company, then spend the rest of the money on other things that I need. But I don’t know which thing to get from my company. It’s a toss-up between . . . a lot. And I still don’t know which of the rest of the items take precedence.
Part of me says that at least one thing (new shoes) will be a requirement whether I do it from this $100 or not, so if I wait I’ll still get it. But another part of me says, “Don’t be dumb, that’s just sneaky and irresponsible and will deprive you of more money that you can’t afford later.”
So basically . . . this is just one more thing that I never learned. How to make a decision rather than let it paralyze you. And, if I remember correctly, I think it corresponds with the PTSD too.
And no, listing pros and cons doesn’t help. I’ve tried that. Too many of them are still tied.
One of these days I’ll figure out what to spend the money on. In the meantime, though . . . I don’t have any of them. Awesome.
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My idea is probably not going to be popular, but I do think it helps in situations like what you describe.
First, pretend you only have $50 available instead of $100. See if one item pops to the top of the list with the $50. If not, take all the equally rated or tied items you can’t decide between, and pick one using a random number generator. (And if you don’t like the chosen one, that’s a hint that they weren’t really tied — remove that one and do it again until you can accept the result!)
Then take the other $50 and give it to your favorite charity.
This approach will leave you feeling good about it, plus also will make it a bit less likely to feel paralyzed next time…
Although I like that idea, I’m not talking about things that would just make life a little nicer in this nice, fluffy, comfy world we live in. Without going into details, suffice to say that if I gave the money to a local charity, I would be just as likely to be getting something from the same charity.
BUT I do appreciate the idea and thinking in terms of $50 at a time might actually make the decision easier. Thank you!
You’re absolutely right, while giving some of it away does have a useful role in terms of the psychology of how we think about money and things, if it would mean creating true hardship then it’s not the right choice for this moment in time.
I really was just thinking of ways to force thinking outside the usual boxes — that’s what would work for me in that kind of “stumped but gotta do something” situation.
I hope it helps and you find a good option!
Sue
Decision making is definitely a practiced skill. Sometimes it takes me forever to make a decision. I research and consider and ponder and research some more. And then I decide NOT to make ANY decision. Being aware that I do this is a good thing…I try to work past it purposefully. My husband and I actually get quite delighted with ourselves when we make a quick decision.